


Delicate, Petite & Other Things I'll Never Be

by hikawasrinko (ranpoandpoe)



Series: Transdori Week 2020 [2]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Dancing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gender Dysphoria, Inspired by Music, Kissing, Polyamory, Prom, Threesome - F/F/F, Trans Character, Trans Hikawa Sayo, Transdori Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26596897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/hikawasrinko
Summary: "I wanna be more real than all the others. I wanna be more real than all the rest. I wanna be so real you can't see the difference."
Relationships: Hikawa Sayo/Minato Yukina/Shirasagi Chisato
Series: Transdori Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1933393
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28
Collections: Transdori Week 2020





	Delicate, Petite & Other Things I'll Never Be

**Author's Note:**

> transdori - day 2 / 
> 
> the ceo of yukisayochisa attacks once more! lol anyways this fic was inspired by against me!'s "delicate, petite & other things i'll never be" (i'm sure you guessed it's a song by now), it's really worth checking out aaaaaand i hope you enjoy this piece

Sayo’s hands ran around the soft fabric of the vibrant, blue dress in front of her. Too soft for hands so bruised and calloused; too vibrant for someone so lifeless. 

_ Prom,  _ Sayo thought as she took a deep breath. She’d never thought she would get that far, and although it felt like an accomplishment, it also felt pointless and dull. What did she live her teenage years for anyway? 

Smartass comments from not even nearly smart boys and frustrating attempts to make the sound of the guitar sound as swiftly and natural as Hina’s, with her tiny, fragile looking fingers. That was the answer the acid side of Sayo’s brain came up with, but she knew that there was something important she was still alive for. 

And, with a timing as perfect as everything else about her, Chisato opened the door. Her dress was white, making her look pure and soft. It was the kind of clothing a bride would wear: it was simple, but also delicate. Sayo couldn’t stop herself from thinking that she wouldn’t mind it if she was, in fact, a bride. She had no issue marrying her right then. 

“Sayo-chan? I thought you were dressed already… we’re going to be late.” Chisato was very good with time management, which was one of the several things Sayo loved about her. Another one was the way she was just as good at reading people’s emotions as she was at reading scripts. “What’s the matter?”

Her expression got softer in a second and she got closer to Sayo, caressing her skin and hair as a way to show support. A great way. She then took a deep breath and finally answered, “I don’t deserve it. This dress is beautiful and it should be worn by a real girl. One who’s feminine and petite, with small, soft hands instead of my calloused, enormous ones. She should have natural breasts and a delicate waist, and… 

“Why would I wear a dress that clearly wasn’t made for me, where will I find the decency to do so?” 

“Well. Do you want to wear it?” Chisato asked and Sayo’s mind screamed.  _ Yes!  _ Yes, she wanted to wear it so badly. She wanted to be real, more real than the others. She wanted to be so real, so feminine that it wouldn’t be a discussion, that no one knew how to explain, but tried anyway. She wanted to be so real, that no one could see the difference. But instead, Sayo just nodded. “There’s your reason, then.  You want to wear it. It’s the prom. I’m curious about how it will feel to take a dress off you in the bedroom when we come back. See, I gave you three now.”

Something that was almost a smile appeared on Sayo’s face. She then put on the dress and all the details and fabric tickled her skin. Her blue hair strands, carefully braided by Yukina, her other girlfriend, ran down like a river through her shoulder and neck. 

Sayo was beautiful even though she didn’t see it, but maybe she could play Cinderella for a night. “Do you think I deserve to wear it?”

“I do. But does it really matter?” Chisato grabbed Sayo’s hands, holding them affectionately. “I don’t deserve you or Yukina-chan, you deserve someone… less messed up, but here I am. This is what it is.”

“You are perfect.” Sayo let out, confusion all over her face. How could Chisato believe she was anything less than that? 

“So are you,” The actress responded softly as she kissed Sayo’s lips, full of recently applied chapstick. “Let’s go now. Yukina-chan is waiting for us downstairs.”

* * *

When they arrived, the gym was stunning. Yes, Sayo had helped, but her job was mostly handling food, drinks and bureaucracy. The responsible for all the decoration and music were Rinko and Arisa — Sayo made a mental note to congratulate them later. 

“So,” Sayo started saying after noticing that Chisato had been caught up by a crowd of fans. “Should we save her or… do you want to dance?”

Yukina smiles softly as always, because it wasn’t like them to be the centre of attention when they weren’t performing. The ones who were paying attention would notice. “This song is nice to slow dance to.”

It seemed like the moment Yukina mentioned slow dancing, the time passed slower as well: her hands moved as if they didn’t know hurry. Sayo could see her own fingers tightening around her girlfriend’s waist, covered by the red tinted cloth. 

Their feet moved through the dance floor and it was like watching themselves on tape, in slow motion. Sayo had time to process all the moves, to get in sync with Yukina; just like… she smiled, getting even more excited with the activity. It was like music. 

For once, Sayo felt comfortable with her strong hands: they gave Yukina reliability, just like her guitar did it in the background, supporting the singer’s vocals. 

“I didn’t know you were so good at slow dancing, Sayo,” Yukina complimented. “You have a lot of secret talents.”

“Well, I think you’ll also like this one,” Sayo had a grin on her lips before (and while) kissing her girlfriend. It was quick, since public display of affection wasn’t their forte, but it was enough to give them both slightly red cheeks. 

“I’m quite familiar with this one, but I can’t say I don’t like it.”

Sayo laughed (quietly), not only because she found the comment funny, but also because… well, with such a beauty as a date, who wouldn’t?

“Minato-san. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“How do you see yourself?” Sayo ended the sentence hesitant, feeling she hadn’t been clear enough. “I mean… sometimes I feel like I’m not real. A real girl, a real guitarist…”

The song had already changed, but neither of them noticed. “Not exactly. I have already felt like I didn’t earn the title of vocalist. And if I’m not worthy enough to be a vocalist, then what am I? But then I figured out. I’m Yukina Minato and I sing for Roselia. The rest of the band relies on me, just like I rely on them. If I need to know anything else, then…” She stopped to think for a few seconds, as if looking for the best way to word it. “Then the music will tell me.”

Sayo devoured Yukina’s words, breathed them as if they were the oxygen necessary for her survival. “Thank you, Minato-san. I’ll make sure to take your advice into consideration.” After a smile appeared in Yukina’s lips, they continued dancing, one step at a time, slowly and not worried at all about time, attention or rhythm. It was all about each other and the way they fit perfectly in the other’s arms.

“Hi, beautiful girl in red,” Their moment was interrupted for a second, but only until they realised the one talking was Chisato. “May I have a dance with the prettiest demigirl in the room? And then, with the prettiest girl?”

Even with messy hair and sweaty forehead from all the photographs, autographs and hugs, Chisato was still ethereal. Sayo just stepped aside and let them dance; she’d take a cup of water, but there was nothing better than staring at  her whole world.

Chisato’s moves were more confident, less awkward than Sayo’s. When Sayo danced with Yukina, they guided each other, but with Chisato, she was the undeniable leader. Her hair was as golden as it was on TV, even without all the effects, and it was noticeable how lost in her eyes and smile Yukina was. But with Sayo, things were quieter. 

It was private. They were both performers, but Chisato was the one who put on the show. Chisato would let everyone know that she loved her partner, even though the intensity and other characteristics would remain a secret; Sayo, on the other hand, could be seen by those who cared enough to look, closely and attentively.

**Author's Note:**

> (warning: shameless self promo) i'm @yukisayochisas on twt


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